If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
