garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
