Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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