She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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