Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
