he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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