I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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