Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
