in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm bleeding and have questions
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
