i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
