Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
