I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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