You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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