just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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