Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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