he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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