Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
