I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
