they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
