I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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