She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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