When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
