Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
