You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
