Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
