if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
