very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
