i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
