So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
