plz talk dirty to me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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