Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
