Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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