Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
