Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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