I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
