No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My hand turned me down
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
