coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I cut my penus on the lid.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
