Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
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there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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