It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize