That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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