I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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