the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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