Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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