hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
