Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
