somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
