no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
