It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
