Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.