So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.