he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have already put on my inside pants.