I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm