I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
