there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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