All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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