I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
