You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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