It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
