He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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