No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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