um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
