We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
